LOSER: Trump Supporter Tries to Frame Liberals by Vandalizing Elementary School

LOSER: Trump Supporter Tries to Frame Liberals by Vandalizing Elementary School

SAD! Trump Supporter Admits To Tagging Elementary School With Graffiti In An Effort To Frame Liberals

Video courtesy of the Hartford Courant

If you’re a 32-year old adult, and you’re defacing public property with a marker for funsies, you’re not allowed to wonder why you don’t have friends. And if you also happen to be a Trump supporter, leaving obscene anti-Trump graffiti in an effort to make liberals look bad, you forfeit your right to ever be upset about anything political ever again.

Such is the sorry existence of one Stephen Marks, age 32, of Hartford Connecticut. Last month, while bicycling with his dog, Marks decided to leave some not-so-clever graffiti on the property of an elementary school, within eye-shot of a children’s playground. His intent? Framing liberals and making his fellow Trump supporter Neanderthals look like victims. What a snowflake!

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Tagging on the playground’s welcome sign and other bits of school property with a green Sharpie he allegedly found nearby, Marks wrote phrases that would make a conservative’s blood boil with anti-liberal rage. His vandalism included literary gems like “Kill Trump,” Left Is The Best,” Bernie Sanders 2020,” and “Death to Trump.” You know… the sorts of petty comments a third-grade bully might come up with if he were somehow politically-inclined.

Marks turned himself in after seeing his surveillance camera photo on the news. When asked by investigators why he had left the graffiti, Marks claimed it was “Out of anger towards liberals” because “They are breaking major laws everyday and being disrespectful towards our government.”

No one from the Hartford Police Department asked Marks what country he lived in during the eight years Barack Obama was President, since it clearly wasn’t the United States, given that people being disrespectful to the President is apparently a new concept to him.

Marks also insisted that he would “Never harm the President or any member of government.”

Marks was charged with third-degree criminal mischief and breach of peace, and posted $500 bail. He now has a court date set for August 2nd, and has been ordered by a Hartford judge to stay away from the school’s property.

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Marks told The Hartford Courant that he is indeed a Trump supporter, but he wouldn’t elaborate to them why he would write anti-Trump graffiti, despite having explained to police that he was doing it in an effort to frame liberals.

He went on to offer to clean up the graffiti, and he apologized for having acted like a feckless teenager, in a less articulate manner of course.

“It was just a stupid thing I did at the time. It was stupid, stupid, stupid. […] On the record, I want to say I’m sorry. It was a stupid decision. I hope nobody wants to do the same because it’s wrong. I’m sorry.”

Of course, we shouldn’t be surprised when a Trump supporter childishly attempts to discredit others or writes things no grown adult should ever write. With Donald Trump as a role model, we should be grateful stuff like this isn’t happening more often.

Featured image courtesy of the Hartford Police Department. H/T to Mikaela Porter and Jim Welch from The Hartford Courant

Matt Terzi is a political satirist and essayist from Binghamton, New York, who has written for some of the most prominent satire publications in the country. He’s now moving into more “serious” subject matter, without losing touch with his comedic roots

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Matt Terzi is a political satirist and essayist from Binghamton, New York, who has written for some of the most prominent satire publications in the country. He’s now moving into more “serious” subject matter, without losing touch with his comedic roots

ReverbPress Mobile Apps ReverbPress iOS App ReverbPress Android App ReverbPress App