Bankruptcy Attorney Hilariously Trolls Anti-Gay Auto Shop Owner In Open Letter
Michigan auto shop owner Brian Klawiter is learning very quickly that hate is bad for business, and now he’s being mocked by a bankruptcy attorney who wrote an open letter offering his non-discriminatory services.
Earlier this week, Klawiter posted a hateful rant on Facebook in the name of religious freedom informing gay people that they were not welcome at his auto shop business in Grandville, Michigan. He even went so far as to threaten to sabotage the vehicles of gay people who want to test his sincerity.
Clearly hoping that conservatives would ride to his financial rescue, Klawiter started a GoFundMe page which was quickly taken down. In short, he failed in his effort to rich off his hatred.
But a bankruptcy attorney named Jeff Mapes felt sorry for Klawiter and posted an open letter to him on his law office website.
“This evening I was reading the news online and came across this story about Dieseltec, a local business that posted a message on their Facebook site proclaiming that homosexuals were not welcome and would be refused service,”
Mapes explained about his desire to write the letter.
“Our slogan is “Helping Good People through Bad Times” (for this let’s just say “Helping People through Bad Times” ) and boy oh boy Dieseltec, you are in for some bad times and will need my help. So here is my open letter to Dieseltec.”
In the letter, Mapes offers his services to Klawiter since “I get the feeling you will need a bankruptcy attorney pretty soon…”
Mapes makes an effort to relate to Klawiter by explaining that he is “white, male, Christian, a business owner, and a gun owner” just like him. But Mapes also explained how he is different than Klawiter.
Unlike you, I provide services to everyone regardless of their sexual orientation because it doesn’t matter to me — I hope this won’t be a deal breaker for you.
Throughout the letter, Mapes continues to try and persuade Klawiter to accept his services by letting him know that he wouldn’t be treated any differently because of his homophobia. He even told Klawiter that he could carry his gun with him if he wanted to as long as he would “refrain from menacingly stroking your weapon while you quietly sing David Allen Coe songs to yourself.” But he also couldn’t resist mocking Klawiter for his dumb business decision, and used a quote from Adam Sandler’s “Billy Madison” film to conclude the letter.
Here is the letter in its entirety via Mapes’ law office blog.
Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Jeffrey Mapes, and I specialize in bankruptcy law — helping individuals and corporations when things go wrong. I noticed your post on Facebook where you decided to alienate most of the general public by stating that you will refuse service to openly homosexual people. This is certainly an unorthodox business strategy, and perhaps it will work for you, but I get the feeling you will need a bankruptcy attorney pretty soon and I wanted to offer my services. Like you, I am white, male, Christian, a business owner, and a gun owner. Unlike you, I provide services to everyone regardless of their sexual orientation because it doesn’t matter to me — I hope this won’t be a deal breaker for you.
If that upsets you, let me tell you a little bit more about our office to try and persuade you, The first thing you will notice is how friendly and compassionate the office staff is. Despite your inane, incoherent and just plain dumb comments, we know that everyone makes mistakes and we want to help you overcome them. They will also be more than willing to help you with some basic grammar that you seem to struggle with.
If you still need more convincing, let me assure you that we will make certain that your bankruptcy petition is filed correctly and there are no errors. You stated in your post that you would incorrectly assemble a vehicle in order to prove a point. I want to let you know that despite the fact that I would love to prove a point to you about tolerance, I won’t compromise my standards of quality to do so. After all, I have to look in the mirror at the end of the day and if I didn’t do my best for everyone, I would have trouble sleeping. Perhaps you could give me pointers on how you sleep at night?
Just a few other housekeeping items. While I certainly don’t encourage people to bring guns into my office, so long as you have the proper permit and handle it responsibly, you can bring your gun along. I would only ask that you refrain from menacingly stroking your weapon while you quietly sing David Allen Coe songs to yourself. I also think you have a deep and fundamental misunderstanding of the first amendment and how it works, but that is a long discussion and we should save that for when we meet in person.
Well Dieseltec, I hope I’ve convinced you that Mapes Law Offices is the right place for you to file your bankruptcy. I would like to leave you with some words of inspiration from the dramatic film Billy Madison and I hope that you will take them to heart:
“What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”
Jeffrey D. Mapes
Now that’s the way to shut down an anti-gay bigot while also being tolerant of their hate.
Photo Credit: Raw Story
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